


Old is for the Young

by Lokisarmy0602



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bromance, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Kind of maria being in the cap 1 movie, the age of adaline au, well kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-04-08 00:46:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4284246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokisarmy0602/pseuds/Lokisarmy0602
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maria Hill lived a happy 25 years until that one night... that one night that changed her life forever.<br/>She spent the rest of her life never allowing herself to get close to anyone or let them discover her secret. That was until one day when she met a sad and skinny Steve Rogers, could he change her ways? Could he make her love again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Begining

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is another story I suddenly thought of and had to post on here. I don't know what people are going to think about it, I just hope you guys like it. Took me ages to try and get the story line right and still, knowing me, will have probable made mistakes so please forgive me aha.  
> So this is a kind of Age of Adaline au sort thing, you'll understand when you read it. Don't worry no spoilers for that film. I just like the idea of it and well... being a captainhill shipper this came to mind.  
> Enjoy my fellow readers.

It happened to her when she was 25, young and full of life, her whole future in front of her. She could go anywhere if she had the determination, well that's what her grandma used to say before she passed. 

She was young and will forever be young for all her life. She didn't realise her life would go on and on. Lovers and friends disappearing into the dark grip of death. Heartache and heart break each time, a new life and a new start every time.

It happened on a cold winters night, the weather already showing the sign for something bad. 

The 1920's was the time to be alive in America. The roaring 20's they were nicknamed. Flapper dancers, booze, clubs and jazz were all popular in those years. 

Maria remembered coming home from her dancing job at the club. She loved the atmosphere of the clubs, the music and smell of cigar smoke hung in the air, making it thick and cloudy. 

She pulled her black coat further across her chest, protecting it from the harsh Brooklyn temperatures. The night sky was dark, "it's dangerous I tell you, never walk home alone my dear" her grandma's voice echoed in her mind.

Dangerous in what way, she would always question. She knew the answer, it didn't need to be spoken. A young woman alone in the city, always dangerous.  
She huffed, this was her city, she was fine.

She looked both ways as she came to the sidewalk before beginning to cross the road. 

She heard it before she saw it. The tyres screeching on the ground, leaving thick black marks on the road. The moon reflected from the smooth black surface of the hood of the new car.

Her life, 25 years of it, though it may be short, lasted longer than a flash in her mind. 

Pain. White hot blinding pain took over her body as she hit the hood and rolled, collapsing onto the floor next to the black car.  
She didn't hear anything, just managing to pull her eyes open to see the driver lean over her, a look of concern covering his face. The world and what she thought was death took her, everything black and the last thing she could remember was pain.  
\------------------------------------------  
She woke up in hospital and a two months later was back to normal. It wasn't until ten years late when she noticed she hadn't changed. Not a single hair colour had changed, no greys. No sign of wrinkles touching her face to show her past life. She was 35 yet still looked 25.  
She hadn't aged.  
\-------------------------------------------  
The music pounded in his ears and the air was thick, his small lungs barely managing to breath. He knew Bucky wouldn't have brought him here for no reason, however he couldn't help wondered why. It was the year 1942 and Bucky was dragging him to nearly ever new bar opening up in Brooklyn. 

"Trust me Steve," Bucky said, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it. "This one dancer here is perfect for you," Bucky told him and Steve flinched. 

"I can't dance," Steve told him. 

"You don't have to dance to be able to talk to a girl," Bucky told him with a smile as they walked to the bar. "Though in this situation it would help," and Steve just sighed. Bucky ordered drinks and Steve held his drink in both hands. 

"Charlotte, meet my friend Steve," Bucky introduced him. Steve turned around to see a lovely dame, blonde wavy hair down to the shoulders with a beauty blue dress on. 

"Steve," he said, holding his hand out. He didn't realise how sweaty he was until the woman pulled a slightly face as she shook his hand. Straight away, she moved her attention to Bucky. Steve expected nothing more, Bucky had it all and Steve... Well he had nothing. He turned away from the two and back to the bar, looking down at his drink.

"Why so sad?" Someone asked to the right of him. He jolted his head up to look at the woman. Her brown hair pulled back in pins with a short but classy red dress on that fitted perfectly. Steve swallowed before smiling. She smiled back, revealing her pearly white teeth.

"H-Hi," Steve stumbled to say. 

"You haven't answered my question," she said with a smirk. 

"Erm... Nothing," Steve told her and she raised an eyebrow.

"Maria," the dame introduced herself, holding out a hand. Steve whipped his hand on his trousers before shaking her hand, making sure it wasn't sweaty. 

"Steve," he told her and she nodded. 

"That's a nice name," she said before taking a seat next to him. "By the way, has anyone told you that you're a terrible lair?" Maria asked and Steve laughed slightly, trying to calm his nerves. 

"N-no, that would have to be the first," Steve said a little breathless as Maria took a sip of her drink.

"Well, you're a terrible lair," Maria told him and Steve smiled. 

"Steve," Bucky turned to talk to him but spotted Maria. "Oh, doesn't matter," Bucky said and turned away. 

"He your friend?" Maria asked and Steve nodded. The end of the song came and another one started to play. It was more upbeat and Maria smiled as she recognised the tune. 

"Care to dance," Maria asked him and Steve hesitated slightly. "I'm a professional so I can help you," Maria said with a smile, holding out her hand. He saw Bucky and Charlotte get up to move to the dance floor. Maria raised an eyebrow in question, trying to edge him on and Steve sighed.

"Ok, but just one dance," Steve said and Maria smiled at him, his hand slipping into her. 

"Of course," she said. "My one lucky tip is to always keep your head up and beware of where your feet are," she said as she led him to the dance floor. 

"That's seems like a lot to take on. I'm an awful dancer," Steve said as they stopped in one of the free spaces on the dance floor.

"With me by your side I think you'll be ok," Maria said with a smirk and took his other hand in hers. 

It took him awhile, a long time in fact to get used to the music and by then the end of the song was near. She managed to get him to stay on for another three songs, and he managed not to step on her feet more than four times. He did glance down a few times but she always would lift his chin back up with a smile on her face. 

Steve had never seen someone so beautiful before. Her eyes shone, capturing him in her gaze. Her lips were so soft, he wished to kiss them but knew that would never happen.  
The song came to a close and Steve dragged himself off the dance floor before Maria could persuaded him to have another dance. 

"Are you sure?" Maria asked him as she leaned on the bar next to him.

"I'm all danced out, but thank you," Steve said. "Can I buy you a drink?" Steve asked her and Maria smiled sadly at him. 

"I better be going," she said instead, a more gentler way off saying no. She had had enough and really should get home. She never allowed herself to get this close to someone, but something about him drew her towards him like magnets. 

"Oh, I erm... I understand," Steve said, looking down at the bar.

"But maybe if you come another night I might just let you," Maria told him, trying to not make him upset. She shouldn't be doing this, getting his hopes up, he was just going to be disappointed when she ran. 

She always ran. 

"I'll keep you to that," Steve said and Maria gave him a smile, his face warming her heart after so many years of being alone. 

"I'll see you soon Steve," Maria said and leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on his reddening cheek. She pulled away and then she was gone. Steve was so flustered he had to stay seated at the bar until Bucky came stumbling over. 

"Steve," Bucky announced, grabbing Steve by the shoulder with a massive smile on his face. "You have finally gotten the courage to talk to a woman I see," Bucky said with a smirk as he sat down next to his best friend. Steve tried to cover his blush but Bucky knew him too well. 

"So is she going to meet up with you again?" Bucky asked him.

"She said I could buy her a drink sometime. That's a good sign right?" Steve asked Bucky, who nodded and smirked. 

"My little Steve, all grown up," Bucky joked and Steve rolled his eyes but the smirk on his face gave it away. 

He was happy, he just hoped he would see Maria again.


	2. A mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter, enjoy

He did see her again, at the same bar two weeks later. It took him that long to be able to pull together enough courage to even step foot into the bar. To actually speak to her was a whole different thing.

She came walking through the crowd, not even seeing him. He took a deep breath and stepped into her path.  
Maria looked surprised at him, so he smiled but she didn't smile back. 

"H-hi," Steve spluttered out.   
Maria took a deep breath, shit. 

Why was he here? 

She had spent two weeks trying to not think about him, just hoping he wouldn't come back. She shouldn't have opened that door, not even by an inch. She had allowed him to come into her life and it was her mistake. 

A mistake she wished she hadn't made. So she played it off as if she had forgotten him, even though she had spotted him the second he had walked in. 

"Hi," she replied, "may I help you?" She asked which only caused Steve to frown at her. 

"It's me... Er.... S-Steve," he said, hoping to jog her memory. 

"Sorry no, I don't remember," Maria said, and as she said that his face dropped. Why did he have to do that? 

"Oh ok... Erm, sorry I bothered you," Steve began, releasing that she didn't remember her. Maria watched him turn away from her. He could just walk out of her life right now and she wouldn't see him again. However, something stopped her. She didn't want him to go, after two weeks of wishing he did.

"I was joking," Maria called out and Steve turned, his face lifting slightly. 

"You are?" He questioned not believing her. Maria nodded, swearing at herself to stop.

"Of course, I wouldn't forget dancing together," Maria said and Steve's face brighten, a smile appearing on his lips. 

"Erm... Well I came here wondering if I could, you know... buy you that drink?" He asked sheepishly. 

Shit. 

"I would like that," Maria said and Steve nodded, quickly moving to the bar. 

"You're an idiot Maria," she told herself before following Steve to the bar. 

That night, Maria learned about Steve's wish to be in the army. She didn't laugh at his wish, just nodded and told him he could do it. He respected her for that. He didn't learn much about her life but getting to talk to her, he could see she wasn't someone to spill everything about herself. It was like trying to read a book while it was closed. 

The day before Bucky was sent off to the army they went to the Stark expo and Bucky had surprised him with a date. He didn't really want to go, whoever it was he knew she was going to ignore him. It was just the way it was. He wasn't attractive or anything. 

However his date... Surprised him.   
Maria was there. 

"How did you?" Steve began to ask and Bucky just smirked. 

She didn't know how she had ended up here. Bucky was too persuasive.   
Near to the end of the night, Steve had gone wondering after Stark's flying car had failed. Bucky and Maria found him and Maria stepped back, watching the two chat. 

She said goodbye to Bucky with a smile and both gave each other a nod.

"You better look after my little Steve here, he's a precious kid," Bucky joked but Maria knew he was being serious. Steve blushed slightly, mostly out of embarrassment. 

"Will you please stop calling me your little Steve?" He begged but knew Bucky wouldn't stop. 

"What about my little punk then?" Bucky questioned and Steve just shook his head. "Don't get into a lot of fights Steve, I know what your like," Bucky ordered before Steve told him to get going, calling him a jerk as he did. 

"He cares about you," Maria said to him as they walked into the open expo. "I can tell even after spending little time with you two," Maia said. 

"That I know, he's my best friend after all," Steve said and Maria nodded. "And the time thing, we can always changed that," Steve said, his confidence while around her building every second. He slipped his hand into hers, hoping she won't slap him. Maria gave him a look, ignoring his comment and hand holding before continuing. 

"I know, but I mean he truly cares about you. You can see it in his eyes, you're like a brother to him. I mean, you are his brother," Maria said and Steve smiled down at the ground. 

"I guess so," he replied and Maria squeezed his hand. "I'll walk you home if you want," Steve said.

Maria knew saying yes was a mistake, a big mistake. But it was how he looked at her which made her say yes. She hated that. 

"Yes," Maria said. Steve looked up from the ground, a smile appearing on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you thought :)


	3. What do you think?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter. I nearly have this story mapped out and written so the next chapter won't be long.

He was shocked at the most, even a little bit excited. Mostly scared to hell. He had been wanting this for a long time and when he had finally got it... He had to admit he was pretty damn nervous for it. 

He knew it was his only way in and he wasn't going to back down from a challenge. This was his opportunity to fight along his brother and to do what he has wished to do for a while now. Stand up to the real bullies. He wanted it so much he had gone against the law. 

He told Maria the day he was asked to do it and she had agreed with it. She surprised him actually at how at ease she was with the whole thing. 

"It's dangerous," Steve told her. 

"Well you've never back down from anything or anyone for that matter," Maria said and Steve studied her, trying to find anything in her expression that suggested she wasn't happy about it. She noticed. "Look, you wanted to be in the army and this is a prefect way to get the real bullies," Maria said with a smile. She moved around the table in his apartment to stand in front of him. 

"You're hard to read," Steve stated and Maria chuckled. 

"I'm sure you'll do great," Maria told him, sensing that he was worried.

"I'm nervous," Steve admitted. 

"As you would be," Maria told him. If it was anyone else they would also be nervous. It was going to be the first experiment with the serum, anyone going first would have the right to be nervous.

"They'll be picking me up soon," Steve told her and Maria nodded. He had come back from the army camp to tell her and had had an hour before Peggy was picking him up. "I'll miss you," Steve said and Maria smiled at him. 

"Me too," Maria said. Steve moved, gently kissing her on the lips. It was soft and passionate at the same time, his lips warm on hers. They had been getting closer and closer but never this close. 

A couple minutes later he was gone and Maria took time to think about the whole situation. 

She had let someone into her life, even worse, she had let herself become something to someone. Had allowed herself to be part of someone's life, which would make it much harder for her to leave. Which she had to... Eventually anyway.

However, something about him. His kindness just warmed her cold heart. Throughout the years she hadn't allowed anyone in but suddenly she had found herself with someone being so close to her. 

It was... Hard for her. 

She couldn't go but needed to. She would have to leave him at some point or he would notice. He would start to pick up on things about her, he wasn't dumb after all.  
\-------------------------------------------  
Two days later he had finally had enough time to come back to Maria. Not finding her at her apartment he decide to make his way to the bar she worked at. 

"So, how do I look?" Steve asked her as he walked up behind her in the bar, the bar they had first met. She turned to look at the person and stared blankly at him, mouth open slightly and eyes wide, taking in his frame.

"Wow," she stopped herself from swearing, she then blinked and composed herself. "How?... What has?... I really don't know what to say," Maria said honestly and Steve chuckled at her. She had been worried about him, a lot in fact. She didn't know the details of what had happened to him but knew it was dangerous. The only thing holding her back from pulling him into a hug was the shock and the power of her mind over her heart.

"I can run, and I mean properly run," Steve said with a smirk and Maria narrowed her eyes, finally getting over the shock. 

"What have you been doing?" Maria asked and Steve sighed, taking the seat next to her. 

"The doctor, Dr Erksine. He was killed by a nazi and I ran after the guy," Steve said. 

"I'm sorry," Maria told her and he shook his head. 

"It's not your fault," Steve told her, then asked for a beer from the bartender. 

"So..." Maria began, now being the one in the relationship who found it hard to talk. "Did it hurt?" She asked plainly. Steve chuckled slightly. 

"Oh definitely," Steve said. "But I got though it. I've actually been "promoted" in words," Steve told her and Maria raised an eyebrow in curiously. The bartender placed the beer in front of him and he took a sip before continuing. "They erm... Want me to promote selling war bounds, like I will go around the country performing as Captain America, the patriotic symbol of America," Steve said and Maria paused for a second. 

"Really?" She asked, not sounding too impressed. 

"What?" He asked, clueless about what she thought. 

"Nothing, it's just... You'd think they would want their strongest man on the front line. I mean I'm not saying I want you there, it's just a thought," Maria said looking away and at the clock. Steve signed, turning away from her slightly and looking down at the bar. 

"The colonel doesn't think I have it in me. His words were "you aren't enough"...harsh right," Steve said and Maria looked back at him. She took her hand in his and rubbed her thumb along the back of his palm. 

"You'll get there," Maria reassured him. 

"Eventually," Steve said and took a gulp of his beer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you thought :)


	4. True feelings

Maria could only smile at him. The look on his face made her heart swell. She had stayed around, allowing Steve to unlock her heart. She had decided after a heartbeat that she wanted to stay. Her mind wasn't thinking correctly and clearly wasn't thinking about the future. Her and Steve would never have a future, not proper one, not one where they would grow old together. She never knew what was in front of her. Love had blinded her and... To be honest she didn't care.

After a few rough shows he had finally gotten into the hang of it, each time knocking Hitler out with a clearly fake punch. 

She was happy that he was happy but also disappointed. Steve didn't want to fight the fake actor bullies, she knew that. He wanted to fight the real bullies like the ones Bucky and the rest of the brave soldiers were fighting. This wasn't Steve. Not her Steve anyway. 

She had gone to his first show to see him and to support him. He had stumbled onto the stage and then stood, scanning the audience. Maria sat up a bit more to get his attention and he smiled at her before continuing, seeing her gave him more confidence... Well just enough to get through the show. 

It was after the massive New York City show when Maria finally told Steve her opinion about the whole thing. 

"It's just a few shows Maria, I don't see why you’re so angry about it," Steve told her behind stage after the show. Maria sighed, sitting down on his chair at the mirror. 

"Clearly I'm not angry about it Steve. You're having fun, I can tell but don't you want to actually fight? You joined the army for that reason, not for this," Maria stated, waving a hand at the costume and Steve growled. 

"I know Maria, do you think I want this? Bucky's out there risking his life and here I am, on stage acting like a fool," Steve said, his voice low and never once shouting. "But at the moment... I have to do this ok," Steve said and Maria just shrugged. 

"Fine by me. But remember this, going to Italy to perform in front of soldier's is not going to go the way you plan," she said before standing up. "You're suppose to be more than this Steve," Maria told him and Steve looked down at the ground. "Not just their..." Maria paused, causing Steve to look up at her, a frown on his face. She looked away from him, not wanting to tell him what she truly thought. 

"Not their what?" Steve questioned her. She took a deep breath, hands on her hips. She looked back at him, catching his eyes. 

"Not just their little showgirl," Maria said and she could tell she had hit a nerve. Steve clenched his jaw but when he saw Maria turn and walk to the door to leave he took a deep breath. He allowed it to calm him down before he moved.

"Wait," Steve said, grabbing her by the arm and spinning her around. "I don't want to leave us on an argument before I leave for Italy," Steve said and Maria pulled her arm from his. 

"Maybe you should have thought about that before," Maria said and then walked out of the room, leaving him stood there in silence. 

It was easier this way. At least now she didn't have to officially say goodbye. She wasn't the one running away this time, he was. 

She kicked herself for letting their relationship get this far. So stupid. She knew she would regret it, causing not only her pain but Steve too. She remembered that decision, the decision to walk up to the lonely man at the bar. She would never go back on that decision, she just wished that he hadn't been so kind and caring towards her, it would have made this so much easier.   
\-------------------------------------------  
Fear, panic, guilt. It all rolled over her, like a wave across the sand, when Agent Carter called her up and said Barnes had been killed in action. She knew she shouldn't have gone, she shouldn't have flown out there but she did. Bucky was her friend too and Steve needed the support and comfort right now. 

So she took a deep breath and walked into the bar, tired and miserable she put on a brave face. He had been here a while, hours even. After landing down in England in one of the SSI's aircrafts, one of the hollowing commandos had picked her up and drove her here. 

Steve sat at the last table standing, tears in his eyes and a bottle in his hand. 

She couldn't help but think what she would have been like if it had been Steve that had fallen not Bucky. She still grieved for the fallen soldier but she knew if it had been Steve, the guilt of how they left their relationship would have eaten away at her. 

She paused, studying him. She knew that he knew she was stood there watching him. A heartbeat later she walked forward, coming to a stand next to the table. 

"Dr. Erskine said that the serum wouldn't just affect my muscles, it would affect my cells. Create a protective system of regeneration and healing. Which means, um, I can't get drunk. Did you know that?" Steve asked her after a moment of intense silence. 

"Your metabolism burns four times faster than the average person. Didn't he think it could be one of the side effects," Maria said and Steve gave her a questioning glance. "Bucky told me," she added in response, commenting on the letters and Steve gave a small nod. Maria moved, picking up an unturned chair and place it upright to sit down next to him. "It wasn't your fault," Maria told him. 

"If you had read the report, you would know that's not true," Steve replied back. 

"I guess. But I know you... I bet you did everything you could," Maria said, pausing. She could see Steve was beating himself up about it so she continued on. "Did you believe in your friend? Did you respect him?" She asked him. Steve glanced up at Maria, her questions having caught his attention. He gave her a small nod. "Then stop blaming yourself," Maria told him. "Allow Bucky the dignity of his choice. He damn well most have thought you were worth it," Maria told. It took Steve a while to take in her words and then understand them. He looked back down at the table and with a drop breath, he replied. 

"I'm going after the guy who did this. I'm not gunna stop until all of HYDRA are captured," Steve told her. 

"I know you won't be alone," Maria said, knowing there will be many men that will follow him. He nodded in understanding, seeing her acceptance from her in her words. 

"I've missed you," Maria told him. 

"Me too," he replied, looking up to her and into her greyish blue eyes. "I'm sorry by the way," Steve said, commenting on how they had left things. 

"It's me who should be apologising," Maria said and Steve shook his head at her words. "You got somewhere, the place you wanted to be," she paused. "And I doubted you for how you got there, which I shouldn't have done. I believe in you Steve and I should have told you that before you left," she said and Steve listened to her every word. 

"I know you did, you didn't have to tell me it," Steve told her and Maria nodded. Steve took her hand in his and gently kisses the top of it. He took a deep breath, sniffing slightly.   
"I love you," Steve then told her and Maria's heart stopped, literally. All sorts of emotions bubbled up inside.

Fear, love, passion.

She calmed herself and managed a reply. 

"I love you too." 

She reached up and wiped away a tear that had managed to fall down his cheek. Steve gave her a weak smile before finally taking her in.

"Did you fly all the way over here to see me?" Steve asked and Maria smiled slightly. 

"A woman called Agent Carter called me up, told me the news of what had happened... They allowed me to fly in one of their private aircrafts," Maria told him. 

"Benefits of having Captain America as your boyfriend," Steve said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Actually, my boyfriend is Steve Rogers. That's the man I fell in love with. The little guy, skinny Steve from Brooklyn," Maria said and Steve smiled, letting out a little laugh. 

"I really do love you," Steve told her, as if she didn't under how much she meant to him.

"Me too," Maria replied and kissed him gently on the cheek. She stood up, moving to the bar and came back with a glass. She poured the alcohol into her glass before lifting it up. 

"To Bucky," Maria said and Steve lifted his own.

"To Bucky," he repeated and they took a sip of their drinks, well Maria did while Steve down his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I changed a scene from the film slightly. It wasn't Peggy that goes to see him but Maria. Yeah it's slightly far fetch but hey, what can you do. Tell me what you thought :)


	5. His end

He sat there, holding the controls tighter than anything before. His heart was in his throat, his stomach doing somersaults while his blood pounded in his ears. The cold wind blew against his face, reminding him of the icy death that was soon to come.

"Peggy," he called out, the aircraft shaking violently around him. "This is my choice... Tell her that for me," Steve said, his heart beating so fast and hard against his ribs. He wanted to throw up, the fear rattling through every nerve. Steve knew Peggy would know who he meant and that she would do it for him. "Also," he remembered, "that the spear key is under the plant pot, she'll know what it is when she sees it," Steve told her, remembering what he had set up before he had come out here, just in case… just in case he didn't make it, which now looked like he would. 

"I will," Peggy replied, her voice breaking slightly and he knew then that she was crying. Steve pulled his compass out of his pocket and placed it open in front of him. A black and white picture of Maria placed in it, her smile calming him in this moment of fear. He wanted to remember her face, remember how her smile brightened up his day. He wanted to remember every detail of Maria, knowing he was never going to see her again. 

"Peggy," Steve called out, waiting for a reply as he stared out the front window. Out to where he would meet his death. It frightened him to his core... However he knew he was doing it for the right reason. He was saving so many people. His life was worth it if it saves so many others, Maria’s life.

"I'm here,” Peggy replied.

"Thank you, for-" and he was gone.

"Steve?" She called down the radio. "Steve?" She asked again, knowing he wasn't going to reply. "Steve?" She asked one last time, tears running down her face as she did. She bent over slightly, resting her head in her arms as she listened to the static over the radio.  
\-------------------------------------------  
Maria laughed with the bartender as she placed the empty tray on the bar. He took it, smiling with happiness shining in his eyes. 

"Maria, you and the group are up in two," Charles the manager reminded her, walking past the bar.

"Ok, I'll be right there," Maria said, turning to look at him. She was the leader of this night’s entertainment; she just hoped that the show would run smoothly.

"Maria Wilson-Hill?" Someone asked from behind her. She turned to see two soldiers standing before her. Her heat stopped; dread hitting her like a train.  
"What's it to you?" Maria asked going on the defence, a whole bunch of reason as to why these men where here rushing through her mind. One of the main reasons was that they had discovered who she was. Yet something, a small voice in the back of her head screamed his name, Steve.

"We were wondering if we could have a quick word with you?" The other man, blonde, asked her. She nodded before turning around to Charlotte.

"Can you cover me?" Maria asked. Charlotte looked behind Maria to the soldier's before nodding with a polite smile. 

"Of course," she replied, looking back at Maria, who just nodded and turned back to the soldiers. 

"We can talk in the back," Maria said and led the way. It was the best room for the situation. There was the back down that opened into the alley, easy escape and far enough away from the crowds of the night but not too far. Once inside the blonde soldier shut the door and Maria turned to face them. 

"What's this about then?" Maria asked, the tension eating away at her. The soldiers glanced at each other, faces full of guilt, before finally the black haired one spoke up. 

"We regret to inform you that Captain Steven Rogers was killed in action last Thursday," he told her. It was now Monday and Maria hadn't been told, moreover the newspapers hadn't found out yet. The words came to her like a punch in the stomach. Actually it was more like a train had hit her right in the heart and lungs, knocking the breath out of her.

"We are sorry for your lost," the blonde then spoke up and Maria took a deep breath, nodding ever so slightly. 

"Thank you... I'm sure you can find your way back out," she said, gesturing to the door and they did. The second the door shut Maria broke down, her shoulders hunching as she choked out painful tears. She turned slightly, her hands coming down on one of the boxes behind her to steady herself on her shaking knees.

Her knees felt weak and her heart felt like it had been torn in two. She couldn't think, couldn't breathe, and moreover she couldn’t believe their words. Yet, they wouldn't lie to her. She tried to take a deep breath but it was shaky and she ended up choking. 

She glanced at the door that went back to the bar as laughter and music sounded from it, people trying to forget that the war was still on. She then looked back at the back door.

Her escape.   
She moved as quickly as her weakening knees would allow her, her mind not thinking just doing. She got out into the alley, slamming the door shut behind her. She then pressed her back against the cool metal door, taking in a deep breath of fresh air, tears streaming down her cheeks.

She didn't know how, but she managed to get to her apartment even when her vision was blurred with tears. 

The second the door was shut, Maria's knees gave way and she landed down on the hard wooden floor. She leaned back against the door, taking in a deep of breath as her lungs would allow her as her heart shattered, piece by piece into a thousand. 

She didn't sleep that night, or the night after that, thoughts of Steve plaguing her dreams, which now where turning into nightmares.

This is why she didn't allow herself to be close to anyone. She couldn't go through the heart ache of losing them. It broke her down ever time, more and more each time. She couldn’t go through it again, couldn’t go through losing someone so close to her. She had loved Steve and now he was gone.

She hated herself for allowing herself to love again, being blinded by that feeling of being needed, of being loved. It always ended in someone getting hurt and this time it was her. She couldn't put her heart through it again, not anymore. 

Love was wrong, for her it was anyway. 

Right then she decided that she wouldn't allow herself to love ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay with this chapter, it's been forever I know. So I hope you liked this chapter, please tell me what you thought :)


	6. Chapter 6

Peggy stepped into the large ball room, the celebration of the end of the war thick in the air. The room was dressed to perfection, laughter ringing loudly through it. Music played from the band on the stage as people danced on the dance floor. The people they had lost in the war were forever in their hearts but tonight was the time for celebrating. 

Peggy scanned the dance floor for her but couldn't find the brunette. She checked the bar before looking at the tables that surrounded the dance floor. Peggy spotted her sat at the corner table, her foot tapping lightly to the music with a sad smile on her face. Peggy made her way over to the other woman before coming to a stand in front of the table. 

"Hello, Maria right," Peggy said and the brunette looked up at her, eyes narrowing.

"What's it to you?" She asked, going on the defence. 

"I'm Peggy Carter of the SSI. I worked closely with Captain Rogers in his time in the war," Peggy informed her and Maria nodded. She remembered the woman, she had been the one to phone her about Bucky's death. "May I sit?" Peggy asked and Maria nodded, gesturing to the chair next to her.

"Be my guest," she simply said before looking back at the dance floor. Peggy took a deep breath, trying to pluck up the courage to say what she was about to say. 

"He wanted you to know that it was his choice," Peggy said, causing Maria to look sidewards at her. She only nodded, a simple gesture that she had heard Peggy. "He also wanted me to tell you that there's a spare key under the plant pot and that you'll understand what he is on about when you enter his apartment," Peggy said and Maria took a breath. She suddenly stood, planning on heading to his apartment straight away. 

"Thank you for coming to tell me," Maria said as Peggy stood. She nodded with a smile. 

"Would you like some company?" Peggy asked, curious to why Steve would tell Maria where the spare key was.

"I'll be fine on my own, thank you though," Maria said before leaving the ball room. 

Within the hour Maria was stood outside Steve's apartment, the spare key held tightly in her hand. She couldn't bring herself to unlock it, half of her wanting to open the door and the over half telling her to walk away. 

She decided to unlock the door, slowly pushing it open. 

The apartment seemed the same, just a thin layer of dust covering every inch of it, showing it hadn't been lived in for a while. 

The only thing which was different was the small box and piece of paper laid on the kitchen table. She moved over to it and picked the piece of paper up.

It had Steve's scribbled writing across it with a couple of doodles around the edge of it.

Maria's eyes scanned across his smudged writing, her heart picking up pace as she read. 

Maria Wilson-Hill. A year ago you walked into my life, I remember you asking me why I was upset then calling me a terrible lair. Over our year together I have come to realise I will never be upset with you by my side, so Maria... Will you marry me? 

Maria's breath caught in her throat before her eyes slowly moved to land on the small dusty box. 

She gently picked it up and with a shaking hand opened up the box. It was a ring, an engagement ring if she was being more precise. 

She slowly lifted it out of the box, the sunlight from the open window hitting the stone just right. 

Tears filled her eyes as she came to realise Steve would never say the words on the paper, never be here to hear her say yes, never see the ring he got her rest on her finger. 

She swallowed thickly as she let the tears fall, finally coming to terms with the fact that Steve was gone forever. She sank into the chair, elbows resting on the kitchen table.

As her heart broke yet again she forced herself to swear to herself that no matter what, she would never fall in love again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God so this took me a while to update and I'm sorry about that. My computers broke so I lost most of this story and another one called The Take Over, so if you read that story as well be expecting a slight, possibly big delay on an update for that story. I nearly broke down crying because I've lost about ten chapters for it. But don't worry, I have this story on my iPod so everything it good for this story. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this quick chapter. Tell me what you thought :)


	7. Running away

She spent quite a few years living in Steve's apartment, not wanting to move on just yet. It was 1967 and people were slowly realising she wasn't ageing. She would have to move on soon, she just didn't know if she could bring herself to do it yet. 

She walked up the steps to his apartment, brown grocery bags in her arms and the engagement ring hanging on a sliver chain around her neck. 

She unlocked the apartment door and stepped inside, turning to shut the door behind her. 

That's when she saw a ghost. 

He stood at the end of the balcony, eyes as sharp as daggers. She dropped the grocery bag in shock before her mind started racing and she slammed the door as he came towards her. 

Barnes. 

What was he doing here, he was supposed to be died. Fear rose up within her as she heard his footsteps draw closer. She quickly ran for Steve's gun on the bed side table, feeling safer when she grabbed it.

With one swift kick, the front door went flying across the room and Barnes entered. His eyes set on her as she lifted Steve's gun, about to firer a warning shot at his arm. 

By the look of it he was set to kill. 

She fired the warning shot and the bullet bounced off, however Barnes didn't even flinch. She swallowed hard as Barnes went for her. A clean punch to her jaw and Maria fell to the floor, causing her to drop the gun. Barnes went to grab her but she crawled under him. She quickly stood and ran from the door. 

Bang. 

The bullet flew from his gun and went through her left shoulder, the force and shock of the hit causing her to land roughly onto the ground. 

She rolled over, swallowing the pain down and pushing the tears back. She had never been shot before but god it hurt. 

She stumbled to climb up and grabbed the beard knife to throw it at him. He lifted his arm and the knife went into it. He didn't even flinch, pulling the knife out and throwing it back. She ducked and crawled under the kitchen table. 

Barnes moved and picked the table up with one hand, throwing it back. He grabbed her by the neck, lifting her up and pinning her against the wall, her toes just brushing the wooden floor. Her hand scrambled for something, anything. She grabbed the glass bowl and slammed it against his head, his grip slipped slightly and he stumbled backwards. 

She kicked him in the stomach and he dropped her. She fell to the floor, sucking in air and coughing. 

She quickly crawled for her forgotten gun then turned, aimed and fired. Straight into his stomach. He winced, doubling over slightly. It didn't seem to hurt him as much as her wound was hurting her. 

"What the hell?" Maria questioned, mostly to herself, on how strong he was. She then fired again before Barnes stopping moving. He stared at her like he had just seen a ghost, which in fact she had too. He turned and quickly moved out of the apartment. She walked to where the door used to be, gun pointed at his head as he quickly went down the stairs and disappeared. 

She turned, her breathing heavy and her heart pounding in her chest, blood rushing in her ears. She collected her groceries and then grabbed her first aid kit. 

She sat at the kitchen table which she had lifted upright off the floor. She cleaned herself up as she thought about what had just happened. 

Barnes coming to kill her. He was different, his hair longer but not a day older than when he had died. She frowned in confusion. Of course, he was dead. But how was he just here?

He wasn't like her, like any human. She knew that but how. Why had he come to kill her? How had he survived that fall?  
She came to the conclusion of that she needed to find out more about him. She had stayed in touch with Peggy but only slightly. She knew about S.H.I.E.L.D and HYDRA and the work S.H.I.E.L.D did. 

She knew there would be files on Barnes and somehow she would get her answers to how he had survived that fall and why he was after her. 

It was risky to go in, but she had to. She had to find answers. 

The following morning she fixed her door and then made her way to the S.H.I.E.L.D base by following Carter, slipping in after her easily. A whole life of running she knew how to get in and out of somewhere unnoticed. 

She slipped past, grabbed the files and thought she was nearly out clean. However, she thought too soon.   
She rounded the corner and saw her.

Peggy. 

Internally she screamed shit as loud as she could, on the outside however, she kept her face emotionless and straight.   
She quickly moved past Peggy, turning her head slightly away so the woman wouldn't see her. She knew the agent was good, she just hoped she wasn't as good as Maria had heard she was. 

She felt Peggy turn and watch her walk down the corridor, Peggy's eyes boring into the back of her head. She rounded the corner and found the closest exit, wanting to get straight back to Steve's apartment. 

An hour later she was sat at the kitchen table with files scattered across the wooden top. She knew she had a limited amount of time before Barnes came back to properly kill her and for S.H.I.E.L.D to realise the files had gone missing. Limited amount of time before Peggy realised who she had seen and got S.H.I.E.L.D to go after her. 

She was distance friends with the agent but Maria knew Peggy would do what she had to do. 

Maria took a deep breath before opening the first file.

It took her an hour and two drinks to find what she was looking for. 

James Barnes, died on a mission with Captain Steven Rogers and his body was never recovered by S.H.I.E.L.D.

The organisation HYDRA had someone called The Winter Soldier. They had used them as their little project, freezing him for later use. 

She began to wonder if this winter soldier was Barnes. 

She found the file about some of the missions S.H.I.E.L.D had access to, especially the soldiers mission to kill her.

S.H.I.E.L.D had a small amount of information on someone who never aged, however they hadn't made a move on her yet. 

HYDRA had found out about her, how she didn't age and now they felt threaten. 

Suddenly, her breath caught in her throat as she heard footsteps come up the stairs. She moved quickly, grabbing a bag and stuffing her clothes into it. She grabbed her passport and her savings, just enough to create a new life somewhere else. She then grabbed the files and Steve's gun as there was a knock at the door. 

"Miss Wilson-Hill?" A male voice called. "This is special agent Hams from S.H.I.E.L.D. Can you please open up? I'd like to have a few words," The man asked politely but Maria knew if she didn't open up they would smash their way through. She glanced out of the back window, spotting the agents moving to surround the building. 

She moved into the bathroom, grabbing her other belongings before popping the window open. She climbed out of it onto the ledge. She took a deep breath before jumping down into the open garbage. She moved quickly, climbing out of the garbage and running down the alley to her car. 

She had to disappear. Away from her home, away from the city... Away from the memories of Steve. She had to move on.   
She threw her bag into the passengers seat and then climbed into the drivers seat. She started the engine as the agents saw her, running down the alley shouting for her to stop. She quickly drove off into the traffic, planning on finding somewhere quite. Some place away from the city and away from the people. Away from her past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm terribly sorry it took me ages to update, computer is still broken so I'm doing this on my phone.   
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and the little Bucky/winter soldier appearance. The next chapter is coming really soon and will be set in the 21st century.   
> Tell me what you thought, it always makes my day :)


	8. Waking up

Captain Rogers was found in the ice 70 years later and Maria was part of the mission. 

She had moved back to the city in the 1990's, joining the army to then be personal hand picked by S.H.I.E.L.D. At first she thought it was a trick however she had worked so hard to keep her cover and had buried all evidence of her past life. She made sure they didn't know about her history, making up a completely different life for herself. She had cut her hair, dying it from the light brown she was known for to dark brown. She got rid of the files on her past life that S.H.I.E.L.D had access to and made sure they wouldn't be able to trace it back to her.

When they found Steve in the ice they had brought him straight back to the S.H.I.E.L.D base in the middle of the city. They had scientist working around the clock on how to bring him back and unfreezing him without damaging him. 

"Coulson's going to swoon when he hears about this," Natasha said, looking through the window at Steve who laid unconscious on the bed. It had been two days since they found him and it was still on the low, not many people knowing about him. 

"Clint has dibs on telling him though," Maria told red head without looking up from her tablet. 

"That's not fair," Nat commented. 

"That's the rules of dibs my friend," Maria told her with a small smirk, looking up at Nat who pulled a face. 

"How long until he wakes?" Natasha asked, glancing at the work on Maria's tablet. Maria looked over to the blonde, pushing down feelings that bubbled up to the surface.

"In five maybe six days, possibly a week," Maria said. "The scientist's have to regulate his core body temperature, making sure his body doesn't go into shock with the sudden change of environment," Maria informed her and Natasha nodded. There was a lot more science involved with the whole defrosting situation, however Maria didn't go into the facts. 

"Crazy right?" Nat commented. "How someone can last for so long in the ice. Imagine how he is going to feel when waking up in a completely different world," Natasha said, placing a hand on her holster as she talked. 

Maria knew the woman was weary of the soldier, as was Fury and Clint. They knew the courage and strength he had, knew that he his power could be dangerous. Yet Maria knew better. 

"He'll be ok. He'll get the support he needs from S.H.I.E.L.D and his handler," Maria said, thinking about how much of a shock it will be. Times have defiantly changed, Maria being there to see it all. Natasha smirked slightly at Maria's words.

"You still pissed you're his handler?" Natasha asked. 

"I'm not a child, Romanoff," Maria told her before someone in the ear comm asked for Black Widow's assistance. 

"Duty calls," Natasha commented before leaving. Maria sighed, locking her tablet and glancing over at the two scientists in Steve's room. They were going to move him to a makeshift room of the hospitals in 1940's in a couple of days, when the scientists felt ready and confident that Steve was ok on his own. She hoped he was. 

She moved to press the code into the lock and the door clicked open. She walked in and gestured for the scientists to leave the room, which they did. Making sure the camera's were off and no-one was in the viewing room Maria moved over to where Steve laid. 

He looked the same. His long thick eyelashes brushed his slightly flushed cheeks. His blonde hair, which was swept out of his face, was still the golden colour she remembered it as. The way his lips looked as soft as when snow that had just fallen. What she would give to kiss them right now. 

She took a deep breath, her hand reaching up to brush a lose strain of hair out of his face. Maria brushed the back of her index finger down the side of his face, pausing at his jaw line, a familiar memory she held close coming back to her. How he had kissed her on the jaw line, across her neck and down her chest. How he had held her close to his naked body, protecting and caring. 

She placed her open palm on his chest, listening to the strong beating of his heart on the heart monitor and the feeling of it under her hand.

"Steve," she whispered, his name slipping from her lips so easily. The beeping of his heart increased, only slightly and to the untrained it would have gone missed. But Maria wasn't the untrained, she was trained, she did pick up on the slight increase. 

Was it because of her? 

She slowly pulled her hand away from his rising and falling chest, the beating of his heart returning to normal.   
\-------------------------------------------  
She got the alert on her phone, "Code 13," came flashing up onto the screen and then suddenly from the speakers in the corridor. She sighed, knowing this was going to happen before turning around and running towards the garage. 

Fury had planned this, testing Rogers. The whole area where Steve was set up in had tiny clues to it not being real. Maria understood why Fury had done this, to see how Steve worked, how he collected information and how fast he did that and what response he would give. And in this case, Steve decided to get the hell out of there. 

Agents quickly moved out of her way as she came running through, knowing she was in a rush. She got to the garage just as Fury was about to climb into the car. 

"You're late," he simply said.

"Better late than never," she replied before climbing into the passengers seat. 

"You knew this was going to happen," Maria commented as the garage doors opened and the black cars all rolled out.

"Rogers escaped, ran straight through the wall and into the main lobby. Of course I wouldn't know he'd do that," Fury informed. Maria let a small smirk appear on her lips if only for a second, it sure sounded like her Steve. The location of Rogers came up on the wind screen at Maria's side.

"He ran straight out and into the street apparently," she told him. "Sharp right," she then said, looking at Steve's location. Fury made the sharp right onto time square, followed by the other S.H.I.E.L.D cars. "There he is," Maria said as she spotted him slowing and looking around, face shining with shock. S.H.I.E.L.D cars then circled him, blocking his path. He could have escaped them easily, but he didn't, the agents stepping out with guns by their side.

Maria climbed slowly out of the car as Fury walked forward towards the dazed soldier.

"At ease, soldier! Look, I'm sorry about that little show back there, but we thought it best to break it to you slowly," Fury told him.

"Break what?" Steve asked, confusion spread along his face.

"You've been asleep, Cap. For almost 70 years," Fury told him and Steve fell silent with shock.

The soldier looked around at New York City, his face a mask of confusion as the buildings loomed over him. Maria understood how he was feeling, the times have changed so much since back then. 

"You gunna be ok?" Fury asked the blonde. 

"Yeah, I just... I had to ask someone something," Steve said and Maria swallowed hard. That someone had been her and that something had been her hand in marriage. She took a deep breath before walking forward, fear rising as she did so. She hoped he wouldn't recognize her, if he did then her cover would be blown in seconds. Fury glanced behind at her as she came to his side and then looked back at Steve.

"Captain, this is Deputy Director Hill. She will be your handler, helping you get used to the times. We will debrief you back at our base," Fury said and Steve nodded, only giving Maria a quick glance, not registering her. 

"If you would like to come with us," Fury said, gesturing to the car. Steve gave a blunt nod before walking to the car and an agent rushed to open the door for him. He climbed in with Fury at the wheel and Maria in the passengers seat. They drove to the base and Steve was escorted to one of the debriefing rooms by four agents. He knew they meant well but four agents weren't going to stop him if he wanted to escape. He sat at the wide table, too much in shock to be able to comprehend where he was. 

He tried to listen to the brunette who was talking, talking to him he quickly remembered. He blinked before looking up from the black glass table.

"We've set you up with a small apartment in Brooklyn, a few blocks away from my own apartment," the brunette told him. 

That voice. 

It was so... Familiar. He had heard it before. But where? 

He then looked at her. Properly looked at her. His memories were all over the place, all of them slowly flooding back after the shock of waking up in a completely different world, yet all still blurry. She locked eyes with him, if only it be for a second, he would know them eyes anywhere. The way they shone a beautiful greyish blue, that once opened up all her secrets. Now they seemed distance and cold. 

Suddenly she looked away as if that connection hadn't even happened. 

"You'll have enough money to get by easily and we have employment opportunities for you for whenever you wish to get a job. It's up to you if you work with us, S.H.I.E.L.D, or get a... Normal job," Maria said, flicking through files on her tablet. Steve frowned, narrowing his eyes at her.

The way her body moved was different to Maria's and her hair was shorter and darker than the person he once knew. Her face. The perfect jaw line and her lips, so soft. The lips he had kissed. A body he once had on top and under him. 

But it's not her. It could never be her. She was either old or... Dead. She just looked like Maria... She wasn't her. 

"Captain Rogers," her voice rang through and he blinked a couple of times, bringing himself back to reality. 

"I'm sorry," Steve said and Maria just stared blankly at him.

"Your keys... To the apartment," Maria repeated to him and Steve stood up. He took the keys from her and she managed to not allow their hands to brush. 

"Thank you," Steve told her.

"They'll be someone waiting to show you to your apartment in the garage," Maria informed him before gesturing to the agent stood at the door to show him the way. Steve moved, following the agent with one last glance back at the deputy director, not to see her for two weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was the first chapter in the 21st century and I really hope you guys liked it. Sorry for taking so long to update this, but I hope it was worth the wait.  
> Tell me what you thought :)


	9. You knew her

They checked up on him regularly, her agents doing their job quietly and correctly, not to be seen or heard by Captain Rogers. They reported back in a reasonable amount of time, telling her he goes on lots of walks to familiarize himself with the city and everything he had lost. 

"He seems... Depressed," one of her most trusted agents told her one day. Maria sighed and then nodded in understanding, tapping her pen on the file in front of her.

"Thanks you Agent Green. Keep me posted on his routine and if it changes," Maria said as an indication for the agent to leave and she does. Maria took a deep breath, placing her pen down on the files she had been signing and leaned back into her desk chair. 

She told herself to never love again, to never have someone close to her... They always end up getting hurt and so does she. The thought of him out there though, trying to come to terms with this whole new world on his own… it played with her heart.

She took the rest of the day off, working from home. After a while of thinking about it she decided to ransack the apartment for that one thing, the one thing she needed to see right now. 

In a box under the bed Maria found that one thing. The box lid was covered with dust that had collected over the past years of not being opened. She lifted the lid up, her fingerprints imprinting on the lid with the dust now resting on her fingers. She placed the lid on the wooden floor next to her and slowly lifted the pictures from the box. 

Old black and white images with cracks down the middle ran slowly through her fingers, as she traced the edges with her index fingertip. The pictures were of her and her family. The family she once had. Her niece was still alive, living in the suburbs. She knew about Maria, talking frequently to her but never face to face. She couldn’t risk anyone seeing her with her niece, couldn’t risk the hurt it would cause if anyone found out about Maria.

She placed the images that brought a tear to her eye on the ground delicately before noticing the thing she had been looking for. 

The ring. 

It was still hanging on the old silver chain, the falling to hang at the bottom as Maria picked it up. She took the ring in her hand and rubbed her fingers over it to get rid of the collected dust. She smiled sadly at it before the thought of Steve in his apartment, on his own and depressed slowly crawled into her mind. 

When she had found out about Steve being found in the ice her heart had literally stopped. Now looking at the ring it did the same. She undid the clasps and then did it again at the back of her neck. She allowed the ring to fall where it normally did all those years ago, next to her heart before slipping it under her top. She didn't know why she had put it around her neck, opening up memories she had worked on to close away. 

She placed the lid back onto the box and slid it under the bed to not be looked in again. She stood up knowing she had to do some work. Sitting at the dining table next to the window in her apartment she got to work on her tablet. 

A couple of hours later there was a buzz from someone pressing the doorbell at the front of the apartment building. The camera Maria had installed popped up a video on her tablet of Steve stood at the front of the building, hand running through his hair. 

"Come on up," Maria spoke through the speaker, pressing the unlock button on her tablet to allow the door to buzz open. She timed how long it took for him to get from the front of the apartment building to her front door. 

Knock, knock.

"It's open," Maria said and Steve stepped inside. He closed the door behind him and stood, watching her. 

"I know who you are," he simply said after a couple of seconds. Maria spared him a glance, making sure confusion was easily seen on her face. 

"What do you mean?" Maria asked, placing her tablet onto her dining table and looking up at him. 

"Maria Rose Wilson-Hill," Steve said, his voice strong but saying her name made his heart ache. "Heard of the name before?" Steve asked her and Maria simply shook her head. 

"Can't say I have," Maria told him, hoping to lie her way out of it. Steve was good but Maria was trained to lie her way out of tricky situations.

"You're related to her. I know you are just from looking at you. The second I really, truly looked at you I could tell. I've seen your face before," Steve said and Maria took a deep breath, steadying her racing heart. She kept her face cool and collected, not to show any emotions in front of him. 

"I don't know what you're talking about," Maria said calmly, trying to talk her way out of it. 

"Don't act dumb with me," Steve snapped, anger in his voice but Maria ignored him and stood up instead. She told herself to not let anger or other emotions take over her. So she waited for him to continue. "For the past two weeks I've been racking my mind, my memories, in trying to understand who you are. You're either her or... A relative who looks exactly like her," Steve said. 

"Captain, I think you should stop now," Maria warned, moving over to where her icer gun laid on the coffee table. 

"Did you... know her?" Steve asked, his voice softer and calmer this time. The way it broke off at the end, how he couldn't say her name. How he had paused, it had made her look up at him and this time really look at him. She hadn't been concentrating enough at the beginning of the conversation but now she was and could see the affects this whole situation was having on him.   
The bags under his eyes showed his sleepless nights, his mind tormented with nightmares from his past. His once golden hair was now a slight dusty colour. It wasn't styled and hadn't been taken care of for the past two weeks. He didn't stand like the solider he used to be but as a broken man, shoulders hunched and frame weak. 

Her heart shattered but she wouldn't allow her walls to crack. So she stood up straight like the solider she was and lied her way out, like she did in any tricky situation she was in. 

"The first person to manage to survive in ice was you. The first and last person to have super soldier serum was you. The first person to not age is also you. You’re the only person, well the only person S.H.I.E.L.D has information about, in surviving for so long without a change in your physical appearance," Maria began. She was lying. First there was her, she managed to stay alive for so long and not change, no scientist proof as to why though. Then there was Barnes, the soldier who was working for HYDRA against his will but Maria wasn't going to be the one who told Steve that, not yet anyway. "There is no evidence that someone without the super soldier serum could survive for years and not age a single day in their physical appearance. So no, I'm not her nor am I related to her in anyway. But if you must know, I was born in Chicago on April 1st, 1982 at 1:12pm, not whenever you think I was or to whomever you think I was. You're going through a tremendous amount of shock and confusion, which means you can easily make mistakes," Maria said and Steve just stared at her. She could tell his mind was racing, memories of their past flickering right in front of him as he connected the dots. He blinked rapidly before his eyes focused on her. He swallowed and nodded slowly. 

"I'm sorry to have disturbed you at this hour Commander Hill," Steve said, looking almost upset with the fact he hadn't found her or a way of finding her. Hadn't found a connection to the woman he loved, having finally lost everything. He held himself together as Maria bid him goodnight. 

The second he was out that door tears filled his eyes, blurring his vision. Slowly, he made his way home, walking through the thick rain that was now falling. 

He had seen the ring. His ring. The ring he had supposed to give his Maria if he hadn't taken a nap in the ice for 70 years. Hill was right about being confused but wrong about what he was confused about. Why wouldn't she just come out and say that she knew his Maria? It was him after all. Did his Maria not tell anyone about him? Not even her family. He didn't have enough evidence but he was going to by the next time he saw Commander Hill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so here is the next chapter. I'm sorry about the wait but it's here now. Anyway, I hope you liked it and please, tell me what you thought :)


	10. Answers

The next day Steve had all the files on Maria Hill, born on April 1st, 1982 to Dr. John and Mrs. Mary Hill at 1:12pm. So she wasn't just making that up. He remembered his Maria talking about her parents; Mary Hill stood out to him. 

He had gotten the files from S.H.I.E.L.D after sneaking into the files room. He had also taken to the internet to find out about Dr. John and Mary Hill. Oddly enough there were no images of them, nowhere he could find a picture of them either together or alone. Yes they had records, a birth certificate and a marriage licenses, but no actually personal thing they would need.  
No driving license or insurance documents for a home or a car. 

He dug into some of Hill's other files. How she had moved to Brooklyn after being hand picked by S.H.I.E.L.D from the Marine Corps. 

He looked for any personal records of family and...

Nothing.

The reports said her mother died giving birth and father died of alcohol abuse. No grandparents, all dead.  
Everyone in her family was dead except her. So if Commander Hill was connected to his Maria then his Maria was dead. 

He used the public library to look up Maria Rose Wilson-Hill, born in 1903 to Mary and Dave Wilson. They had records of her living in an apartment in Brooklyn until 1945. When suddenly she went off the map, the year he had died. Files said she had died in 1945 in a car accident, yet there's was no details or pictures to back it up. 

There were a few black and white pictures of her dancing in some of the clubs in Brooklyn, but that was all. 

He found out about how she had had one brother who married a young woman and had a child together, Ebony Hill, born in 1935. She was still alive and living in the suburbs.

Scribbling down her address, he made his way back to his apartment to get ready to ride out to see Ebony. 

Suddenly, there was a knock at the apartment door. He was slightly curious to who it was and checked through the peephole first. A bold man, dressed in a suit and tie with dark glasses over his eyes. Steve opened the door slowly and the man smiled, removing his sunglasses.

"Captain Rogers, I'm agent Phil Coulson of S.H.I.E.L.D," the man introduced himself. 

Shit, Steve thought, they know he took the files. He moved slightly to use his body to block the files that scattered the kitchen table, scolding himself for not clearing them up.

"I thought I would come and introduce myself since I will be your new handler," he said, which took Steve as a shock. 

"I already have one" Steve said, studying the agent. 

"Deputy Director Hill is currently flying out on a mission with Agent Barton, who you'll have the pleasure in meeting when they get back," Coulson informed him. 

"Which is how long?"

"Well with these missions, they require radio silence. They could be gone for a couple of weeks up to a couple of months," Coulson said and Steve nodded, trying not to think too much into her sudden disappearance. 

"Thank you Agent Coulson," Steve said as a goodbye.

"You need anything, just call," Coulson said, handing the soldier a card with his number on. 

"I will," Steve said before shutting the door.

He turned to clear the files from his kitchen table and hide them in his cupboard. He then packed a bag and grabbed his motorbike keys. He waited ten minutes, making sure Agent Coulson had gone, before walking down to his bike parked outside. He placed his bag under the sea and then started the engine. 

He had memorised the directions to the nieces home and it took him just under an hour with the traffic.

He pulled up outside the little home, bunches of flowers covering the ground around the front porch. He took a deep breath before walking up the small pebbly path and up the white steps of the porch. He knocked on the front door and he heard a slight shuffle. 

"I wasn't expecting you Patty, not until noon anyway," an old woman called from the other side of the door. 

The lock clicked and the door opened slowly. The old woman narrowed her grayish blue eyes when she realized Steve wasn't Patty.

"Your not Patty. What do you want?" Ebony asked him, going on the defense. 

"Hi, I'm Steve Rogers," he introduced himself. "I know-knew your auntie, Maria," Steve said and Ebony studied him carefully. She suddenly gasped and then smiled, a sign of recognition in her grey eyes.

"Steve Rogers, I know exactly who you are," Ebony said before stepping out the way of the door, gesturing for him to come in. 

Steve stepped into the home, the smell of pinewood coming from the candles around the home. Ebony closed the door behind him and went into the kitchen. 

"Make yourself at home, I'll make us something to drink," she said, shuffling into the kitchen. Steve walked into the living room, not a single sign of this being an old person's home except for the photographs.

They stood in the frames along the fireplace and on the walls. A picture of Maria holding a tiny baby stood out the most, in the center of the fireplace. She had a smile on her face and the picture was black and white, cracks through the middle of it. Steve smiled at the picture and then glanced at the other ones, Maria appearing in only one of them.   
Commander Hill looked the spitting image of her. 

The sound of Ebony shuffling into the living room caused him to turn. 

"Let me help," Steve said, taking the tray of tea and biscuits from her and placing it on the coffee table for her. 

"You're a good man, but I can do it by myself," she said before sitting on the single sofa. Steve sat down onto the double sofa to the right of her and poured them both some tea. "Now, what can I help you with?" Ebony asked, getting straight down to business... just like Maria. 

"Well... I wanted to ask you about her... About Maria," Steve began, trying to word it right. "Could you tell anything about her? What happened to her after the war?" Steve asked, hoping he wasn't being too forward. He relaxed a little when Ebony smiled with a nod. 

"She told me about you, when I was a little girl," she said, avoiding his words only slightly. "She told me about your job in the war and how you died," Ebony said, picking up her cup of tea. Maria used to come see her every so often, telling her bedtime stories about Steve. "She really liked you," Ebony said before taking a sip of her tea. Steve took in her words, the thought of Maria telling stories about him made his heart warm.

"Do you know if she's still alive?" Steve asked, wanting to find the answers, wanting to know if he had any connection to his old life.

"Oh definitely, she's more alive than me," Ebony said and Steve frowned, causing her to chuckle at his confusion. "She never told you?" Ebony asked, sounding shocked before Steve shook his head. 

"Told me what?" 

"There's really no explanation for it or there is one and she won't tell me," Ebony said, which only made Steve more confused. "She doesn't age," Ebony simply said and Steve stared at her, mouth open slightly. 

"You mean..." Steve wondered off, brain kicking into gear. 

"I mean she doesn't age, something happened to her in the 1920's and now she just doesn't age. Right now she's living in the city, working for a security company," Ebony said, waving her hand slightly.

"She work's for S.H.I.E.L.D?" Steve asked, putting two and two together. Ebony nodded at his question. 

"Yes that's it. She does. She called me the day they found you in the ice," Ebony said. In Steve's opinion this was easier then he thought. She was opening up to him without a second thought. "She lives in Brooklyn but you know that, don't you," and Steve nodded, still in shock. 

"May I asked why you're telling me this? I mean I'm thankful but I expected you to be more closed about this," Steve said completely forgetting about his tea. Ebony gave him a sad smile.

"Because you two are made for each other... Do you believe in soul mates?" She asked and it took Steve by surprise. He scratched the back of his neck, thinking. Did he?

"Erm... There's a strong possibility, yes," Steve said, thinking about the new information Ebony has just told him. 

"Well, I do. Maria never did, told me it was nonsense. But when I look at you talking about her now I can tell that I was right to believe... She'll push herself away from you, telling herself she can't love you... but she needs it, needs you," Ebony said and Steve listened closely. "She keeps running away though... But maybe you'll be able to stop her this time," Ebony said and suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Come in Patty," Ebony called, looking at the clock and seeing it was noon. 

"Wow, who's this fella? You didn't tell me you had a toyboy," the old woman said with a smirk as she entered the living room.

"You were just leaving dear, weren't you," Ebony said, standing up. Steve took that as his queue to leave, standing up and thanking Ebony with a kiss on the cheek. 

He left her home and climbed onto his bike. He sat there for a while, trying to get his head around things. 

He suddenly realized that Hill had lied directly to his face without even blinking. So it was her. The ring around her neck meant something, meant that she knew Steve wanted to marry her. She was living a lie, forcing their past together to the back of her mind. Ebony was right about her running away, but wrong about Steve might being able to stop her since she had currently ran away. He needed to talk to her, needed to explain to her that he loved her and that she didn't need to run away anymore. 

He took a deep breath before starting the engine of his bike, hoping the long drive home would clear his racing mind. He drove back home getting there at around two o'clock. He then walked the way to Maria's apartment. 

He climbed up the fire exit to her apartment number, popping open the window and climbing in. He looked around her apartment, stuff from his visit yesterday now gone with her on the mission. He walked around her apartment, looking for any sign of her old life. He knew it was an invasion of her privacy, but he hoped that maybe... if she had anything about her past it could be a sign that she was holding on. The ring was the first sign so if she had that she most have something else.

He found the box underneath her bed an hour later and pulled it out, fresh fingerprints on the lid...Maria's. He slowly opened the box and looked inside. The same photo of her holding baby Ebony that had been on the fireplace was in the box. He looked through the photos and found a piece of paper at the bottom. It was ripped and crinkled with the writing slightly smudged, but Steve could still read it. He knew exactly what it was the second he saw it.

It was his writing, his scribbles and his doodles around the edge of the piece of paper. He knew it was his speech. The speech he was going to make to her in asking for her to marry him. She had kept it for all those years, this must mean something. He placed the lid back on the box and slid it back under the bed, folding the piece of paper and placing it in his jacket pocket. 

He left her apartment and walked back to his own, cutting through the park as he did so.

He took a deep breath, the fresh air filling his lungs. He thought about his life and this new world he was in. He had felt so alone, so lost but finding Maria in this mess that was his life... well it had save him. Three children ran in front of him and across the grass to their parents who sat on a picnic blanket. 

Did he want that? To have a family. 

When he imagine it, the image was with Maria, both growing old after the war had finished, married with a child possibly two. He hadn't thought about it a lot, but on tour, when everything got a little too stressful, his mind had slipped to the future. Of him and Maria. 

The world had flew by and everything he had once known was now either old or dead. Maria was his only connection to the past and she wasn't even acknowledging it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, so if you want to hit me then go ahead. I know it's been so long since I updated but sixth form college is a bitch and the English weather is getting me down. Anyway I'm back and have this new chapter. Please tell me what you thought it's great to get feed back.


	11. Good Move

Maria sighed as she collapsed onto the bed in the hotel room, pain jolting through her body.

"Shit Hill," Clint said. "You got a death wish or something?" He asked and she just gave him a weak smile, eyes closed. They were both covered in dried blood and dust, their hair a mess and clothing torn. 

After five months the mission was finally over and they had got what they needed and taken out who they had needed to.

"I'll grab the first aid kit," Clint said and Maria just hummed at him. She had bullet and knife wounds, with burns along her right side and back from where the grenade had gone off. Out of the two of them, Maria had come off worst. Clint sat down on the bed next to her with his legs crossed and began fixing her up. She flinched when he sterilised her wounds. 

"Deal with it," Clint said with a smirk and if Maria had had the energy she would have hit him with a pillow. 

Half an hour later they were both patched up. Clint dropped the needle into the bathroom sink and wrapped his stomach up. He turned the tap on, watching the bloody water swirl around. He turned to look at Maria, who laid awake on the bed while looking out of the French doors to the balcony view. Clint walked over after turning the tap off and crawled into bed next to her. 

"We can go home tomorrow," Clint said and Maria just hummed, turning slightly to not lay on her burns. "You don't seem happy about it," Clint said and Maria turned her head to look at him. She pulled the covers over her but Clint pulled them back down. 

"I'm trying to sleep," Maria simply said, sounding slightly annoyed.

"And I'm trying to talk to you," Clint replied and Maria groaned.

"What do you want?" Maria asked him and Clint raised an eyebrow, giving her a look. Maria took a deep breath, her ribs still aching from the beating they took. 

"I regret coming on this mission," Maria said, moving slightly which only caused her to flinch in pain. 

"You're the one who insisted on coming," Clint told her and Maria just rolled her eyes. 

"I needed to get away for a while," Maria said and Clint lifted his arm up to rest above his head on the pillow. He turned to look at her and smiled sadly. 

"Don't we all," Clint said and Maria hummed. "Can I ask why?" He said, moving slightly into the deep end of the conversation.

"It's complicated," Maria told him, not wanting to get into anything. 

"Isn't everything... I'm sure it's not too complicated for my little brain," Clint said and Maria just shook her head.

"Stop that, you're not dumb," Maria said strongly. "How's things with Nat?" Maria asked, changing the subject away from her. 

"Oh you know the usual, she's on mission in China so we haven't talked in a while," Clint said. 

"She'll be fine," Maria stated. 

"Yeah, better than us," Clint told her, commenting about their injuries and Maria nodded. 

"Can I go to sleep now? Since I have talked," Maria asked and Clint smiled as she moved to get into a more comfortable position. 

"Good night," Clint said. 

"Night," Maria mumbled back. She closed her eyes and went to sleep with Clint by her side.   
\----------------  
They got back to the Helicarrier and medical team checked them over, ordering them both to have at least one week off to get their bodies back to normal. Clint was happy about the time off however Maria didn't seem as pleased. She needed to keep her mind busy, stop it from wondering.

"Get some rest Maria," Clint said as the S.H.I.E.L.D car dropped her off at her apartment. He smirked at her through the open window as she flipped him off while walking up the stairs. She pressed her code in and the door buzzed open.

"Goodnight Barton," Maria said and Clint replied with a simple,

"Night Hill," and the car drove off. She got up to her apartment and unlocked the door.

Suddenly, she paused, looking around the apartment. She closed the door behind her, dropping her bag into the ground. Someone had been in. 

The way the files on her desk where in a different place and how the window was slightly open made it clear someone had broken in. She glanced around the room and came to realise that nothing had been stolen. It wasn't any of S.H.I.E.L.D's enemies, they would have taken the files. But who would come in and not steal anything... Unless. 

Maria moved to the box under the bed and noticed the other fingerprints on the box. Steve.   
She sighed before opening the box and checking everything was still there.

It wasn't.

He had taken... His proposal? She didn't know how to feel about it. He had gone through her belongings and actually taken something of hers, something so close to her heart.   
She couldn't go on now trying to lie her way out of the situation. Steve knew the truth and had evidence as well. How else was she going to explain about the box of belongs from her past life. 

She angrily stuffed the box back under the bed and stood up. She ignored the fact he had invaded her privacy and started to unpack her belongings. 

It took Steve one week later, coming to see her on her seconds day back. She knew it was his knock at the office door, not only did the live picture show up of him on her computer screen but she knew his knock. She knew the heaviness of his hand but still light enough to not sound rush or violent.

For a second, only a second, she debated weather or not to call him in. However she knew she had to stay professional. 

"Come in," Maria called, minimising her screen and turning to the papers on her desk. Her assistant had tired to put together a brief description of what had happened throughout the week she was off on medical. Brief was not the way Maria would describe the dozens of files that laid on her desk, this was the only reason she hated breaks from work. The tone of catching up she had to do after just gave her a massive headache.

Steve walked in, closing the door behind him and walking up to the desk. He stood tall and strong like any soldier would do, the way he used to stand even when he was the little kid from Brooklyn. He still was in Maria's eyes. 

"I've decided to take the job here at S.H.I.E.L.D," Steve told her and Maria kept her face cool. 

"What changed your mind?" Maria asked him.

"Fury," Steve said and Maria wasn't surprised. The man wanted people like Steve on his team, so did Coulson. Superheroes to protect the world when humans couldn't. To be honesty, Maria didn't trust any of them, especially Stark. She just didn't believe a man like stark had the right mind set for a job like this. Yet Coulson had insisted on bringing him in, opening the billionaire up to this world before he found it himself. 

"Well it's good to have you're on board Captain," Maria said, keeping her mind busy by looking over the files. It helped, kept her eyes away from Steve. She knew one look would melt her, she had to get her emotions under control.

"Please, call me Steve," he told her politely. Maria glanced up, locking her emotions away. 

"I'd rather not, Captain," Maria said, pulling a professional barrier between them both. He didn't look hurt by the comment, Maria could see the smirk in his eyes. It made her uncomfortable to what his motives where in this visit, though she didn't show it. 

"That's up to you," he said and then took a seat. 

"As you can see Captain, I am very busy," Maria said, repeating his title once again, to which Steve just nodded. 

"Noted," he said simply and Maria growled internally. He was doing it on purpose, getting under her skin, waiting for her to blow. However she wouldn't allow him the satisfaction.   
"Charles, can you get me a cup of coffee?" Maria said through the comm and he replied with a swift "already on it". 

"How was the mission?" Steve asked, starting up a pointless conversation between them. 

"It was long but fine," Maria said, ending the conversation. 

"I heard you both got some bad injuries," Steve said and Maria hummed in reply, flicking through the fourth file before glancing at her computer. She still had her back and right side wrapped up in bandages due to the burns still healing. 

The door opened and her assistant walked in, a cup of coffee in his hand and a file in the other. 

"Fury needs you to look over this. He needs a second opinion," Charles said and placed both items on the desk. 

"Thank you, tell him I'll have my opinion by the end of the day," Maria said and Charles nodded before leaving the office. She glanced at the first page in the file and silently sighed, the tesseract file. 

"I had a good five months," Steve began. "Coulson set me up in a remote lodge for a week and I made a new friend," Steve told her and Maria raised an eyebrow, looking up at him. 

"Good to know," Maria said before shifting to start typing up an email to Fury on the computer. The day was getting busier and busier and she was getting more stressed by the second. 

"She's called Ebony," Steve said and Maria nodded. 

"She's sounds nice already," Maria said, waiting for him to continue with his story while not really registering it. She knew it was going somewhere, she knew it was, but she was wondering where and quite frankly, bored of him trying to get to the point. 

"She's quite old, lives in the suburbs," Steve said and Maria looked up at him, clicking onto what he was saying. There's his point. 

"Really? You went that low," Maria asked him, eyes narrowing as Steve nodded and crossed his arms.

"What else was I supposed to do?" Steve asked. 

"Move on," Maria said harshly and Steve looked at her, a hurt expression on his face. 

"She told me about what you did after the war. How you told her stories. How you ran away from any possible chance of happiness," Steve said. 

"That's because having happiness in this life won't happen. I outlive all my family and friends, I watch them die. I can't have that with you, not again. Back then it was a mistake, a moment of weakness so to speak," Maria said harshly and Steve visibly flinched. He stood up suddenly, shocking Maria slightly. 

"I was going to ask you something, but I know the answer now. I'm guessing I won't be needing this anymore," Steve said and pulled out the crumbled piece of paper from his back pocket. He placed it on the table and then walked briskly out of her office.

Her heart skipped a beat as she stared down at the paper.

His proposal...

Good move Rogers, good move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So exams have finished for a while which means I managed to finally get a chapter up on this story. I feel terrible for not updating sooner but I hope you guys liked it. Reviews are always welcome.


	12. Finally Over

They both knew the truth now, however they didn't talk about it. The ball was in Maria's court and she wasn't planning on doing anything with it. 

Work got on top of them both, saving the world and saving themselves took a front seat in their lives, pushing their past together to the back of their minds. 

It was after the battle of New York when finally everything in the world seemed right. No big threat hanging over them, not yet anyway. It was then when their past rushed forward, now having the front seat in their lives. 

It was after Stark's welcome back party. He had fixed his tower up and invited everyone back for a little get-together to see how everyone was. Maria had been busy at the Triskinol but Fury had forced her to have a night off. 

After New York, she had been pushing herself into her work and Fury, he wasn't worried, he just felt she needed a night off.

She had been sat at the bar, a glass of scotch in her hand and eyes scanning the room. He had been stood at the other side of the room, surrounded by people he was half listening to. He then glanced up from his beer, feeling her presence, and their eyes caught each other, locking for only a second. It felt like a thousand silent words where spoken between them. 

She drew her eyes away and down her drinks. She then headed home early, not wanting to stay any longer than she had to. She was here on work business anyway, making sure that everything went smoothly, even though it was her "night off".

Steve had followed her down to the lobby of stark tower, taking the stairs to catch up with her.

"Maria," Steve called and she turned her head slightly to look back at him. 

"Rogers," Maria greeted, pushing the door open and holding it for him, knowing he was going to follow. 

Steve pushed down the urge to tell her to call him Steve, she never did now... Not anymore.

"I was wondering is I could walk you home?" Steve asked, walking out the door. Maria pulled her coat further over her chest as the cold air hit them harshly.

"I'm guessing whatever I say you're still going to walk with me," Maria said as Steve fell into step next to her.

"Well we do live close together," Steve said and Maria hummed as they paused to cross the road. 

It was cold in New York especially at night, the wind blowing Maria's hair back and white puffs of air forming as they breathed out. 

"Can I ask you a question?" Steve said as they passed a little Irish bar at the end of the block, the music echoing into the street. 

"Depends on the question," Maria stated simply. Steve took his time to ask her, wondering if he wanted to know the answer or not. 

"Do you think everything happens for a reason?" He asked after a few minutes silence, diverting from his originally question. Maria took a deep breath, trying to arrange the answer in her head. 

"Not everything," Maria said and Steve ran a hand through his hair. 

"But you think something's do?" He asked and Maria shrugged. 

"It's hard to say really," she said. 

"So do you think me freezing in the ice was worth something?" Steve asked. 

"Is this a game of 21 questions?" Maria asked and he smiled down at the ground. "But yes, you saved a lot of people," Maria said and Steve shook his head. 

"No I mean... in a way that it brought us back together," Steve said as they crossed the road. 

"We're not together," she reminded him harshly.

He had only come to walk her home, to get everything clear and out on the table.   
Yet after that, one thing had lead to another and the door ended up being slammed in his face. He had got side tracked, didn't know how it had ended up like this.

"I can't go through it again Steve," Maria said, moving into her apartment building. Steve put his foot in the door before it could slam shut and followed her up the stairs. 

"It's not like it was back then," Steve told her which only caused her to roll her eyes.

"Of course it is," Maria said as she walked up the stairs, Steve following her. "When you died in the ice it nearly killed me. To then find you 70 years later... I just can't risk going through it again. I swore I wouldn't," Maria told him even though her heart was aching for his touch. "I spent years getting over you and when they found you in the ice I... I just couldn't think, it seemed like a dream, possibly a nightmare. I can't just open the door that I closed years ago," Maria said. 

"Maria please," Steve began but she didn't listen. She got to her apartment and unlocked the door, stepping inside. "I'm not leaving until I ask you-"

"Just stop Rogers," Maria said, calling him by Rogers to put up a professional barrier. She turned to face him, taking the ring from around her neck and giving it to him. 

"I should have given you this back ages ago," she simply said. He looked down at it before looking back up at her, a look of confusion and hurt appeared on his face. 

He quickly regained himself and continued to talk, going to pull something out of his right pocket. 

"Maria look, I need to-"

However, Maria slammed the door in his face before he could continue. She didn't know why she had done it, she just did.

He stood there shocked for a couple of seconds, taking in what had just happened. He placed both hands on the door, leaning his forehead onto the wood. His right hand held onto the chain, the engagement ring hanging down in the corner of his eye. He could hear her on the other side of the door, so close but so far away. 

"Just say it, please... So I know," Steve said and Maria took a deep breath, tears running down her face. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. It didn't work. 

"I don't love you," Maria said, keeping her voice strong and loud enough for him to hear through the wood. 

He nodded, mostly to himself and pushed back off of the door. 

Maria listened to his footsteps echo down the corridor, fading away as he went down the stairs. She turned and leant her back against the door. 

It was finally over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got a bit long so I split it into two chapters, the second one will hopefully be up by this weekend.   
> Thank you all for the reviews, I really appreciate them. Hope you liked this chapter.


	13. Marry me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter continues straight after the last one.

Their relationship was done after so many years. She didn't know how to get her head around it. Too much was running through it right now, too many emotions. 

Her heart was aching for Steve's warm touch, but she knew if he let him back into her life it would be hard and only end in disaster. 

She couldn't do it.

For so long she had managed to get over him and then suddenly he was back. 

Everything she had been through, how she had tried so much to get over him for that to now be ruined. However, the thought of not having him with her made her heart ache, not being able to feel his soft touch or his lips on hers or his naked body pressed against hers.

Her hand itched to grab the door handle to run after Steve. 

Suddenly she didn't have to, footsteps came back up the corridor and stopped right outside her door. 

Steve decided he wasn't going down that easily. He has heard the slight waver in her voice, heard the lie. 

Maria heard something below her and moved back from the door. He was pushing something underneath the door. 

Suddenly, a ring was pushed under and stopped at her feet. It was the ring. His ring to her. 

"Will you marry me?" Steve said from the other side of the door, eyes closed and hands pressed against the door... Waiting. 

"I don't care if it's not as it used to be but I know you still love me and I can't let you slip away because I love you and you know you love me."

He couldn't let their relationship end, not now after everything they had been through, the ups and downs were too much to just forget. 

When she had said she didn't love him it took him until the second floor stair to realise it was a lie. He had heard it in her voice but hadn't registered it. He knew her too well. So he acted on impulse, acted in love and popped the question. 

Maria bent down to pick the ring up, her heart beating faster than ever before and a lump forming in her throat. 

She looked at it, seeing how the light hit it just right causing memories of the first time she had looked at it to come flooding back. It was like a train hit her, all of a sudden an emotion so strong nearly knocked her off her feet. Love. 

She looked at the door and could picture Steve on the other side, eyes closed and heart beating out of his chest. She moved to open it, her hand shaking slightly as she reached for the doorknob. 

Steve's eyes shot open at the sound of the door unlocking and he pressed back off it.   
Maria opened the door and stood staring at him, light reflecting off her wet cheeks. 

His face showed so many emotions. Love, sadness, fear, passion. Tears shone in his eyes, every inch of him trying to hold them back. 

She held the ring out and Steve's heart shattered. He had never felt like this before, never felt so drained. She was saying no, causing the tears to break free.   
He looked at her with blurred vision but couldn't read how she was feeling. She had gotten so much better at keeping her emotions controlled. 

Steve took the ring, looking down at it as his chest got tighter. Everything he had from the past was now gone. Everything. He started to feel closed in, his chest getting tighter and tighter. The signs of a panic attack registered into his mind.

"Ask me again... Properly this time," Maria said and Steve's head shot up at her, hope filling his eyes. Maria smirked at him, pointing to the ground. Steve quickly got down on one knee, his heart was beating out of his chest and his hands sweaty. He was nervous, but most of all excited.

"Maria Hill," Steve began. "The moment I met you, I fell in love. I know our time together has been bumpy but throughout everything we managed to come back together. Will you do me the greatest pleasure in becoming my wife?" Steve asked and Maria's smile grew. 

"Yes," she said and Steve smiled from ear to ear. 

He sniffed the sad tears away as happy ones replaced them. The feeling of happiness drowned over him, he had never felt like this ever before. He climbed to stand and pulled her into the kiss he had been dreaming of since he woke up. 

It seemed so familiar but so missed. 

Finally, a kiss. Steve had missed her lips on his, her body in his arms. It calmed him, how her body fitted perfectly with his. 

He pulled away and then placed the ring on her finger. He looked up into her eyes and they both smiled, letting out a long breath. 

"I love you," Steve told her, his voice shaking from all the adrenaline running through his body.

"I love you too," Maria said, pulling him into another kiss with her arms going to wrap around his neck. He leant forward slightly, hands spread across her back. He then lifted her up so her legs wrapped around his waist.

"May I stay the night?" Steve asked with a smirk on his lips. Maria just reached out behind him to shut the apartment door. 

"What do you think?" She asked before he carried her into the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here is the next chapter and I hope you guys liked it. Bad news is that this is the second to last chapter, I know the end is so near.


	14. The Perfect Ending

The sun shone through the gap between the closed curtains, causing dust to dance in the glow. The strip of light lit the bedroom up as noon slowly rolled by. 

The alarm clock had been knocked off the bedside counter earlier that morning and laid on the wooden ground, blinking but with no sound. 

Steve woke to a quiet moan from Maria, her hand slowly sliding up his bear stomach to rest on his chest. 

He lifted his head up from the soft white pillow to plant a small good morning kiss on the top of Maria's head where it laid on his chest. 

She let a smile appear on her face, eyes fluttering opening. She titled her head to look up at him and he smiled back. 

"Morning," he mumbled, his voice rough and tired. 

"Morning," she replied back with a small smile. 

"You look beautiful," he told her. Her hair was all swept over to one side, her face bear with only a smile on it. The strip of sunlight hit one side of her face, lighting up her greyish blue eyes. 

Maria just gave him a look that caused him to chuckle before she lifted her head, looking down at the broken alarm clock. 

"You owe me an alarm clock," sh simply said, reaching over to grab her phone from off the bedside table. 

"I'll buy you a million new alarm clocks," Steve said, too happy to care deeply about the broken clock. She glanced at the time on her phone before groaning, placing the phone back and resting her head back on Steve's chest.

"I'm late," Maria simply said. She was more then just late, she was incredible late. She was late by six and a half hours, having to get in to work by five this morning. 

"I don't think they'll mind if we're a little bit more late," Steve said, knowing he was also late to work by three hours. 

She looked at him before moving to be on top of him. She placed a gentle kiss on his lips as he rested his hands on her hips. She ran her hands through his hair before he moved and kissed her on the jaw and then on the neck. She moaned slightly before she suddenly moved, sliding out of bed quicker then he could tell her to stop.

"What..." He finally said as she tiptoed over to her work clothes that rested on the back of her desk chair. She had her back to him with the sun light showing all of her curves. 

"Unlike you I actually have to show up to work," Maria said and Steve took a sharp intake of breath, pretending to be offended by her words. 

"That's just a low blow," Steve said. 

"I've done enough blowing," Maria said with a smirk before walking into the bathroom. Steve smirked before resting his head back down against the pillow, staring up at the ceiling. 

Finally his life seemed peaceful.   
Everything was in place and he had the girl of his dreams back with him. A sloppy smile appeared on his face as Maria walked out of the bathroom a minute later, all dressed and ready for work.

"I love you," Steve then said as she bent down next to the bed to pick up the broken alarm clock. 

"New one. By tomorrow," Maria said before grabbing her phone and calling into work. 

"Hello sleepy head," Natasha picked up her phone with a smile. 

"I'm going to be a little late," Maria said and Natasha just hummed, a knowing smile on her lips. 

"Well I guess we'll let you and Rogers off," Natasha said. "Oh come on," she continued, "you don't show up to work and then Steve doesn't either, it's not by chance. Have a nice day off," Natasha then hung up the phone. Maria placed it back on the bedside table and looked at Steve. The sunlight hit him perfectly, makes his blonde hair look even more golden. 

"I guess one day off isn't going to kill them," Maria said and Steve grabbed hold of her hips and sat up, the white sheets slipping down to his waist. 

She turned to face him before he pulled her closer to him. He kissed her on the chest and then the neck. She bent down so he could kiss her on the lips before she climbed onto his lap. She pushed him back to lay down in the bed before she pulled her lips back just enough to mutter out,

"I love you too," before Steve smiled and pulled her back down, making sure they were as close as they could get to each other. 

"Can I ask you a question?" Steve asked her as she rolled to cuddle up next to him. 

"Last time you asked me a question it led to me marrying you," Maria joked and Steve chuckled at her words. 

"What changed your mind?" He suddenly asked and Maria looked up at him, pulling away slightly. She took a deep breath, preparing herself for what she was about to say. She was never good with the whole touchy feely crap you see in the movies. 

"My heart realised how painful it would be without you in my life and it meant I was seconds away from running after you, however I guess your heart had the same idea," Maria said to him and Steve's face broke out in a massive smile, his eyes lighting up. 

"I'm glad you said yes," Steve said and Maria nodded. 

"Me too. It won't be exactly like it used to be though," Maria said, not wanting Steve to put so much pressure on their relationship. She didn't want him to think it had to be like it used to be in the old days for it to be prefect. "I don't want you to be disappointed when you realise that not only times have changed but I have as well," Maria told him and Steve took in her words, thinking of a response. 

"I won't be disappointed since no matter what, you're you and I love you for who you are. Plus, you can never disappoint me," Steve said.

"God why do you have to be so... Perfect," Maria moaned and Steve laughed pulling her closer to him and kissing her gently on the lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it. It's been way more than a month since my last update but I've been really busy. Anyway, that was the last chapter so I hope you guys enjoyed it. 
> 
> I don't know if I should do a sequel to this story, maybe after civil war has come. Please tell me what you guys think. Do you want a sequel? 
> 
> Thank you so much for the kudos and the reviews, it meant a lot to me.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you thought, please :)


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